just turned 18 one week ago.
and turning 18 has made me realize a lot of things.
and mainly due to friendship.
and plus, i didnt do well for my common test.
making me realize even more things.
its not th end of th world yet.
not doing well, but at least i have a chance to pull my results up.
now i really know, last minute studying isn't for me.
well, i probably need more practice than the rest.
so i guess i am going to start studying now.
throughout the past 18 years of my life,
no doubt, i've been through a lot.
my parent's divorce, bring outcasted by my own relatives.
being th dumbest one as compared to th rest.
losing friends and gaining new ones.
learning who to trust and who not to.
getting to know myself more and how i've changed from different phase of my life.
i guess i can't say that a particular phase is th best.
each phase has its ups and downs.
but then its through my secondary and poly phase,
that i got to meet 3 of the most wonderful people in my life.
i can't imagine my life without these 3 girls.
Amanda Goh, she's probably mentioned a lot throughout my whole blog.
she's like th main person in my life that i can't live without.
5 years and counting. i'm sure we'll last even longer.
considering th things we faced and went through last year.
horrible, but then it has made me learn how to cherish her even more.
we fought yes, but in th end, she's still the first person i will run to if i have a problem.
th first person to know who i have a crush on.
th first person to know when im unhappy, or angry.
probably th first to everything.
no matter what happens. she's th first to know.
really thankful for God who actually brought her into my life.
well, i don't know what to do if i don't have her.
everyone needs a best friend who can understand them.
and i'm pretty sure she's much more than a best friend already.
Panda, have you ever wondered what happen if we didnt solve our problems last year? what would have happened to us?
AND PANDA, PLEASE STOP FREAKING OUT WHEN I RANDOMLY SAY I LOVE YOU. I REALLY DO OKAY. >:(
i have many friends in poly, some i lost during sec4.
and one important friend, who i just lost right on th day of my birthday.
not exactly lost, but i chose to gave up on him.
too much excuses, that i cannot take it.
why i ask myself, in th first place did i care so much about him.
and in th end, this is th result i get?
i'll probably not talk to him anymore.
im so sick and tired of accepting his excuses.
since he doesnt make an effort, then why should i?
probably once in a while i'll think of him.
but then he'll just be a stranger to me if i ever met him on th streets again.
Stephie BB girl~
another important girl in my life that i could never replace.
she has taught me many different things in life.
like how i should never ever give up on myself.
and how i should always endure, because in th end, there will always be a good ending.
th girl who supported me throughout my entire china trip.
th girl who always gave me hope when i am at my lowest.
th girl who always listened to my problems and yet doesnt help to try me solve it cause she knows that it wouldnt help me if she did.
thankyou ao much for doing all these even though you could have just ignored me.
you're th one who gave me strength, to continue studying and not to give up. all thanks to your one messages.
"Don't give up bb.... I kno you had those intentions of giving up... But don't okay.. You've gone this far alr... I kno it's like... You've tried so much to do well but it's not working.. I kno how it feels.. But don't give up on something tht you want to achieve and have th passion for it.. If not why are you in DPA in th first place??? You have th talent bb.. Just tht maybe you should try something diff to get to where you are... I kno it's gonna be tough for you.. And there will be challenges tht made you wanna give up.. But you shouldn't let tht grade pull you down. Continue trying bb. You can do it. I'll be right here. <3"
i'll never stop trying bb, thankyou for your encouraging words.
i've probably never felt so depressed and demoralized before.
knowing that everyone has passed except for me.
th feeling sucks, knowing that i am competing with people far smarter than me.
but then, you're right, if i dont have th talent, i probably wont have gotten into DPA.
i'll strive harder for what i want.
i love you bb girl~ thankyou once again.
Hi Turtle^^
you're really like a sister to me ><
but please, stop sleeping in class!
i know you're smart! but still! its not good!
QiaoWen ahhhh~
i probably haven't told you this,
but then you're really a life saver.
if not for you, i probably wouldnt have passed my IPC.
you're a great friend who actually has th patience to sit down and teach me from th scratch what i needed to know.
you're a really smart girl.
and you know what i feel all th time.
i dont know why, but then you just do.
are we like long lost sisters or sth ><
dont get why they separated us for this sem TT
i know we're facing some real shit now.
but then you're always th one with th positive thinking.
and calm temper.
i really wonder how come you dont lose your temper.
like really. whenever i want t explode, you would always be able to think rationally. and make me go O_O and then i'll calm myself down.
i should really learn from you.
but then considering how often i flare up last time and th frequency i do now, i realize i've really changed a lot as well.
you're right, when you say its not worth our energy to get angry at them.
what for? when we can do it on our own right?
I'll learn how to flare up less, and rant less on twitter.
but then sometimes i really cannot take how they take advantage of us. and not do anything at all.
it really sucks.
but then i'll do fine, because i am with you!
we'll work together and then ignore th rest cause they are not worth our attention!
Really glad that you're attached with D!
even though you're in a relationship, you never forget about me~
thankyou for that.
D's a nice guy, just really awkward and shy at time.
but then if he's in class, he's fine. ><
Last long kay!
and if he dares bully you, tell me!
I'LL KICK HIS ASS.
NO ONE BULLIES MY TURTLE >:(
to my 3 girls, i'm writing all of these here cause i know i'll probably never have th guts to tell you all these straight in th face.
but then do know and remember that i am really grateful that th 3 of you are always here for me^^
i love you girls!
and once again, THANKYOU :D
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